October 23, 2013

31 DAYS: CONTENT IN CHRIST (Post 10 - Leah Leaps: "Epic Fail" or Right Where I Should Be?)

Many times in my life have been lived in true "comedy of errors" fashion.  You know how people say, "Years from now, you'll look back and laugh about this!"  Well...sometimes I laugh, and sometimes I cry.

Sometimes, I look at my life and wonder if I am where I should be.  For most, this brings up the "what is God's will for my life?" debate...yada yada yada, ad nauseum.  

But I feel like I generally know what is in God's will for me.  I Thessalonians 4:3 states, "For this is the will of God, your sanctification..."  I can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God's will for me is to grow in Him through every circumstance.  Beyond that are the mysteries that make up this life.  And I'm pretty okay with that.

Still, I often wonder about the path I'm walking.  Do I think of my life as one "EPIC FAIL" after another, or do I rest in contentment that God has me right where He wants me?

This is what I know:

God upheld me through my "young and dumb" teenage years.  He then called me to ministry but allowed me to stumble around and figure out how to get there.  For example, the whole college thing - eight years after I started, I finally graduated.  I could look at this as a "fail," but I know God worked SO many miracles in my heart during those years...so I don't discredit His timing.  I rest in it, fully contented.

God bolstered me through my single, seminary days.  He honored my desire to work with young women through bringing me a job in mental health.  While those first six years were some of the hardest I've ever endured, I knew God was pruning me and doing His work through me...even though it might not "look like" ministry because it didn't happen in the local church.  Ministry "fail"?  Not at all.  Mission work in the midst of lost devastation.  Contentment through the fire.

All though my awkward years when I was longing for a boyfriend, longing to be kissed, longing to be loved...it just never happened for me.  Some might've called me a relationship "fail"...heck, I thought that from time to time.  But God restored me and changed my view.  He helped me find my contentment in Him alone, and then prompted me through His Word to do more than simply sign a "True Love Waits" card and promise to save sex for my future mate.  While many told me that waiting for my first kiss till marriage was ludicrous, God honored that commitment by bringing me a husband who shared my passion for purity all along our courtship journey.  Potential "fail" turned fabulous.  Ah, sweet contentment!

Currently, I see my day job as a means to an end.  I make money there in order to be able to volunteer my time in the church and in my own personal pursuits (like writing this!).  God still provides me with opportunities daily to share my faith and to gain experience with family crises.  While I do not wish to remain in the mental health field forever, I refuse to wallow in the muck and mire of "what could've been" and I choose to leap.  Leap into a mindset of contentment with where God has me.  Leap into a mindset of my call to continually be  discipling others.  Every opportunity I have at work, at church, or in the community is an opportunity to disciple people one step closer to salvation and toward their growth in God.

Now...for the blogging.  




Ugh.  I gotta' say, I'm a bit nervous to "put myself out there" in this way.  I love to write, and I love to speak to others about how the Lord is challenging me.  But I worry about how I come across to others.  I worry that I won't be "liked."  I worry that people will say, "Who cares what Leah has to say about anything anyway?"  In fact, I've been writing and tweaking for about a month now...unbeknownst to most.  So now, I'm choosing to leap again.  Leap into the blogosphere.  Leap into life "out loud" (or from behind a keyboard, at least!).


If you like it - stick around a while, read, maybe even subscribe.  If you don't - no worries.  This is test of my willingness to be content with seeking the approval of God instead of the approval of man (Galatians 1:10).  I am excited, though.  Truly excited to come alongside y'all and share in this "journey to godly" that we are walking day by day.

Here is where I leap.  Where I land is in His hands...    

2 comments:

  1. Leah, thank you for your sharing your heart and your blog. It brought to mind Philippians 4:11 (NIV) where Paul said, "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." I, for one, am enjoying the experience of your sharing your soul with us. Love you, girl.
    Terrie

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